Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
