Can Purell be used as lube?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
