Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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