There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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