I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She is in my trunk
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
