So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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