tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
