it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
