So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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