She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
