Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
