hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
