2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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