um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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