U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I pour the whiskey from now on
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
