I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
