what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
