I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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