whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Your dad touched me again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
