Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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