What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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