You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I party with great urgency now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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