Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Please don't give away my fajitas
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