I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
