Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Drake has all the answers
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
