Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
meet me or not, i'm out of control
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
