Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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