So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
