Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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