yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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