Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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