Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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