i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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