The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
