It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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