Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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