The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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