: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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