she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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