i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
only if we run a train.
done.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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