is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So squirting runs in the family.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
