My nipple is on Facebook.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
