What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
