umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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