you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
