gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am spending my child support on dildos
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
