you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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