Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
