ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
