:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
