dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
